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Sunday Worship

7:30, 8:30,
& 11:00 a.m.

Education Hour:
9:45-10:45 a.m.

Office phone:
414-774-0441

 

 

Family Ministry

 

Supporting Parents of Teens

Join SPOT at St. Matthew's in Wauwatosa every Sunday during the education hour (9:45-10:45 a.m.) in Jeff Reeves' office (education building, 2nd floor). Be a part of the drop-in, informal discussions about this exciting phase of life -- living with a teen!

NOTE:  No SPOT gathering on Nov. 13 or 20. Gatherings will resume during the education hour on Nov. 27. See you then!

Looking rward to seeing you there,
Danette, Supporting Parents Of Teens

 

Weekly "Food for Thought"
Stay connected through the Weekly Goal, offering reflections and suggestions for building stronger relationships with our teens. (The "Food for Thought" items will be added regularly.)

Dec. 26 - A Priceless Gift
A few days before Christmas, the Love and Logic Institute posted this recipe on their Facebook page:

1. Approach your child
2. Extend both arms
3. Hug child tightly
4. Enjoy
5. repeat often

The gift exchange may be over, but it's not too late to give a little more . . . more of what's real and lasting.

We recently came across DVD's of old family movies and have been watching random clips the past few days. It's been such fun to hear our children's young voices, to see their round faces and bellies, to revisit the milestone moments and to see how much we laughed. In this season that's often associated with excess, it was wonderful to refocus on the gifts that do not fade or tarnish. In the videos we all saw that we didn't have a lot of stuff, but we had each other. It was truly a blessing to remind ourselves that the best present is time together and the gift of presence. The cost is just right and its value appreciates as we age.

Much like the gift that was given to us in Jesus Christ - God's grace and love freely given and poured out for us. In Christ, God approached each of us and extended both arms. God gave himself to us through Jesus Christ, gifting us with his presence. We have been blessed indeed.

Peace and blessings to you,
Danette, Supporting Parents Of Teens

 

Nov. 6 - God Loves Them Most
In his sermon today, Pr. Chris read part of an email he received from a close friend and pastor in Tanzania who was responding to the news that Bob Biehn had passed away recently. In addition to being an adult leader on the last nine youth mission trips, Bob had been part of the adult mission trips to Tanzania and was well loved by the many friends he made there. Expressing his grief and extending condolences, the pastor wrote, "We loved him, but God loved him most."

Such truth and comfort in this simple statement. It might be helpful for us to remember as we watch our kids grow through the teen years:
When a parent's heart breaks because his teen is the target of unkindess from peers.
We love them, but God loves them most.

When a parent is bursting with pride watching her daughter receive an award.
We love them, but God loves them most.

When a pattern of missed assignments or failing grades leads to worries about the future.
We love them, but God loves them most.

When an adjustment to a new school is fraught with concerns about academics and social changes.
We love them, but God loves them most.

As a teen faces the elation or disappointment upon receiving responses to college applications.
We love them, but God loves them most.

When teens participate in mission trips or community service and are changed in unexpected ways.
We love them, but God loves them most.

God loves them most. This is a great comfort to me for I know how completely I love my children. Yet the depth of my love for them is but a faint glimmer compared to the light of Christ's love that shines on them always and in all ways -- a love that is more powerful and healing than the deepest hurt or the grandest accomplishment. Whatever worries / fears / rejoicings / concerns we have for our kids, we can rest in knowing that God loves them more.

Wtih love,
Danette, Supporting Parents Of Teens

 

Oct. 23 - Two Are Better Than One
For the past few weeks, a large group of parents met at St. Matthew's on Wednesday nights for a study of The Five Love Languages of Teens by Dr. Gary Chapman*. We broke into small groups each week to discuss how to communicate effectively our love for our kids through words, actions, gifts, time and touch. The book gave us practical, concrete ideas that we could use immediately. I think we all walked away feeling more confident in being able to understand and respond to our kids' emotional needs.

I learned a lot from the insightful comments that were shared each night. Through this forum, I was reminded once again (as I am each week in the SPOT gatherings) how much I can learn from other parents who have experience in a situation or who offer a clearer, third-party view. Whatever teen issue I may be dealing with, I get advice, caring, understanding, support and insights by opening up and sharing with other parents.

This kind of sharing comes naturally when our kids are small and we are more likely to be in the company of other parents because we are the sole means of connecting our kids to school, events, and activities. As the kids enter middle school, it gets tougher as the kids have more independent mobility. Conversations with other parents are not as frequent or as in depth. We get a little left behind and isolated. We may not realize that other parents are struggling with the same issues and questions.

In order to connect with a network of parents at this stage, we have to be intentional and take the initiative, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and admit that we don't have all the answers alone. But put a few parent heads together and the creative solutions begin to flow. Alone we can each carry a little stress, but together we can handle a much heavier load.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.
For if they fall, one will lift up the other;
but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help.
Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone?
And though one might prevail against another, two will withstand one.
A threefold cord is not quickly broken.
[Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NRSV)]

Walking with you,
Danette, Supporting Parents Of Teens

 

Oct. 9 - Listen, Buddy!
When my daughter was little, one of her favorite books was Listen, Buddy! Buddy was a little bunny with very big ears, but his ears weren't very functional. He was usually distracted and often only heard part of what was said to him. For instance, when his mom asked him for a slice of bread, Buddy brought her a slice of his bed. Buddy's poor hearing was the basis for some amusing situations. Buddy eventually ended up in the lair of a scruffy varmint who wasn't so amused by Buddy's bad ears. I can still hear the varmint's growly voice bellowing, "I SAID FIRE WOOD NOT BRIAR WOOD! LISTEN, BUDDY!" 

As a parent, I sometimes feel a little like Buddy -- busy filling out school forms, calling for appointments, making dinner, focusing on my own studies and reading -- hearing only half of what my teen is saying and responding with a nod and a distracted "mmm hmmm", hoping I look interested. And if that weren't bad enough, I also have a tendency to interrupt, whether with affirmations, judgments, or advice.  So there I stand with my teen -- either distracted by life or by my own thoughts butting in. I can almost hear the scruffy varmint growling at me, "Listen, Buddy!" 

This week I invite you to join me in being fully attentive. When your teen begins to speak, set down what you are doing, turn and face him/her, make eye contact, and really listen. We just may be surprised by how much we had been missing.

(In case you're wondering, Buddy escaped from the scruffy varmint and ran as fast as he could into the arms of his mother and father and he listened to them a lot better after that!)

Attentively yours,
Danette, Supporting Parents Of Teens

 

Photos: Family movie night, May 13, 2011
A fun family evening was held at church on Friday, May 13, 2011. We showed the Disney movie “Tangled” (rated PG). Some kids wore PJs and brrought pillows and blankets. There was pizza, soda, and snacks. (Click image to enlarge.)

 

Photos: Lenten Family Time, April 13, 2011
Following the Wednesday Lenten dinners, Pastor Chris and Donna Manke led Family Time for families with smaller children (up through third grade) with stories, songs, projects, prayers and a brief worship. Photos of the event, April 13, are below. (Click image to enlarge.)

 

Photos of Family Movie Night, Nov. 5, 2010
A fun family evening was had at church on Friday, Nov. 5, 2010. Families enjoyed the movie "Toy Story 3". Pizza, soda and snacks were available. A few photos of the event are below. (Click image to enlarge.)

 

Family Camp 2009
 Family Camp was held in August 2009. Participants, the largest group yet, enjoyed a wonderful weekend with great weather and good fellowship, as well as camping activities such as crafts, games, swimming, boating and bonfires (s’mores, too). Pastor Chris and Donna Manke led the weekend at Imago Dei’s Pine Lake Camp near Waupaca. Photo gallery of the 2009 Family Camp [here].